The Art of Dying

I learnt earlier this week that my step-father's mother suddenly passed away. While I physically feel very removed from the situation, I could hear the concern in my mother and step-fathers voices when speaking with them on the phone and naturally felt a sense of loss.
Death brings up alot...
Despite it being a natural part of our existence, we are most often unaccepting of it.
I recognize the importance of grieving a loss but I also question if we are sad for ourselves or for the one who has moved on. The doctor said Rod's mother was completely cognizant and in no pain up until the moment her heart stopped beating. Isn't that ideal? Isn't that what we want? She had a lovely Christmas with my mom and Rod laughing and carrying on. She is fine now, but are we?
I am reading a fantastic book "Light on Life" by B.K.S. Iyengar who speaks about how he didn't cry at his own wife's funeral. This may seem harsh, but he writes how he simply believes and trusts that thier souls are forever connected on a much deeper level, even though her physical presence is no longer. He accepts.
Death comes in many forms. Seasons change. The weather changes. Our children grow up and eventually our grandparents die. Nothing is permanent and yet we feel suffering through changes that seem unpleasant.
I have been thinking alot lately about what is in my life that no longer serves me. What is it that I can let go of and move on from? I have to admit I am still accepting living on my own in what feels more and more like a foreign country with few friends. Perhaps it is my time to let go of the thought that somewhere else is 'better' in order to fully live exactly where I am because everywhere we go, there we are!
And like my father likes to say "It's a great day to be alive!" so let's live life to it's fullest accepting the changes and fluctuations along the way!

Goodbye Iain...and thank-you!

Iain left 2 days ago for a (very) long meditation course and I am feeling his absence as I continue the daily rhythms of life at our house in Arpora with 1 month of yoga to go.

Some of you have asked who Iain is and I guess I just assumed everyone knew. He is a true inspiration as one of the most dedicated yoga and meditation practitioners I have come to know. He has completely enhanced my own practise by teaching me an abundance over the past 4 years in Whitehorse. But in the last 2 months our friendship really blossomed and I am so grateful. He really showed me the way around these parts and helped me find a peaceful, comfortable flow to daily life that I barely knew I was capable of. He helped keep me on track with strong daily sittings, good, wholdesome, simple foods and lots of insight and sharing about our yoga experiences.

I saw a real joy in him in India with so much laughter and lightness. At home, at the Alpine Bakery where we teach yoga, we often refer to him as the 'serious yogi' but I saw him shine here with such joy. India is a place that he is so comfortable in and it really shows. It was a pleasure to see him in his element.

The yoga shala is quieting down and the rush of holiday visitors to Goa is settling. While the last 2 months have shown me how much I appreciate and require quiet and stillness, a slight emptiness has set in that is familiar yet unsettling. I think I just have to readjust to living alone and find my groove. Life presents us with the full spectrum of feelings to entertain, which we tend to see as 'good' or 'bad' depending on how they make us feel. But as Rumi writes "This being human is a Guest House.... Each day a new arrival....Welcome and entertain them all..."

So I will carry on...

A new seed has been planted within me in the last 2 months.... a seed of inner strength and acceptance through dedicated practise. I will continue to water it and feed it, nourish and love it, because sometimes the most revealing insights come when we least expect them!

love,

t

Some New Pics

http://www.flickr.com/photos/45456994@N03/

Christmas in Goa and a Full, Blue Moon New Years with a Lunar Eclipse in Hampi

Hello Friends,

It's been a lovely (warm) holiday season filled with love and beauty and continuous personal insights. We had a very relaxed Christmas day. When most people were getting up to open presents and feast we had a 6:00 am lead practise at the Shala. It was the most perfect way to start the day - every day, really! We then indulged in croissants and crepes at a french run treehouse restaurant and sauntered along a quiet beach to see a carving of Shiva in the rocks.
Simple and Lovely.
With a very strong Christian and Catholic influence in Goa midnight mass was the place to be on Christmas eve. Christmas lights and stars were strung from most homes and consumerism was abundant but through this, I find it is a time of year that can bring out the best in people. The spirit of sharing and caring and laughter and joy were abundant and presented a different, softer feeling in the air.
The Indian family we rent our house from made us a plate of Goan sweets and offered us fruit along with a scrumptous feast. It's so nice to just delight in the simplicities of sharing food with good company.
Shortly after Christmas, I caught my first (adventurous) Indian train 7 hours south to Hampi where the landscape is mesmerizing. Red-orange-yellow granite boulders scatter the entire area as far as the eye can see. Legend has it that Hanuman (the monkey god) placed these rocks here and part of me believes it because some of them are so meticulously placed on top of one another that no logic can explain their origin.
I met up with Jen Smith from Whitehorse in Hampi which was a real treat. It's a bouldering destination so we spent the days testing our skills and exploring the ancient temples.
I was in Hampi to bring in the New Year with some peaceful reflection, a large buffet dinner with climbers from all over the world and a bang of explosive fireworks!
We were lit up under the full moon after midnight then looked up to realize the moon was eclipsing! Apparently it won't happen for another 100 years and made for a very powerful moon this New Years.
All in all it was good but it's so nice to be home in Arpora and back to my practise. Traveling was surprisingly difficult and made me contemplate what my plans will be after yoga ends Feb 20th and meditation ends early March.
I am really valuing finding stillness in one place but some will say we can find that no matter where we are!
Time will tell what the New Year will bring. I have set intentions for staying on the path with increasing clarity and guidance rather than fears and obstacles in 2010.
For now, I will revel in my practise and simple life here in Goa.
Love and Light to you all!