The delicate balance between give and take

I just took a fabulous Indian cooking class lead by a pleasant Indian man and his family. Not only did I quadruple the number of Indian recipes I can make, but I also delighted in the delicate dance of give and take.

I am realizing my favourite moments here are those spent connecting with local people. Genuine moments of connection are rare because the reality is that I am a tourist here and am most often treated like one. The times I most commonly spend interacting with locals are in cafes, internet places or shops where money is always exchanged. I feel to most locals I am viewed as a walking sum of rupees because I am 32 travelling on my own here, which to most of them costs more than they make in many, many years. So, I understand why thier first image of me is one of money. Indian and foreign tourist come and go from here constantly, the latter seeking an 'authentic' Indian experience of some kind.
But what is that exactly?
Perhaps it's self defined.

To me, lately it's connecting human to human with local people. It's having a conversation with the Tibetan woman selling jewelery who has lived here most of her life. It's sharing my cinnamon roll with an interested 2 year old Indian boy who only speaks Hindi. And it's also spending 2 hours cooking, learning and interacting with Sonud and his family.

We made kitchery, channa masala, aloo parantha and kheer - a perfectly complete and delicious meal! The tomatoes and ginger were already chopped and the kheer milk boiling when I arrived at thier home next to a stream flowing into the Ganga.

'Tea? You like Chai?' I am asked shortly after sitting next to the stove. I hesitate to answer only because I have not yet had a single cup after almost 1 month of being here. The primary reason for this is because I have not wanted to add to the overflow of mucous in my system from this cold that is finally disipating. I say 'yes' simply because I absolutly love the act of sharing tea here. I think it symbolizes everything I love about this place....a time to stop, sit, share and take in the world that is whizzing by. This seems like the perfect time to engage in my favourite daily Indian ritual. So, another pot of milk goes on the stove to boil with a sprinkling of black tea and a handful of sugar.

As we sip chai I continue to watch and take notes and interact with Sonud and his daughters who are helping. My favourite is making aloo parantha - mashed potatoes with fresh cilantro stuffed into chipatis. Yum! Finally I understand how the potatoe goodness gets in between the flat chipati.

And more importantly, I converse with Sonud and his 2 daughters, the eldest of which is 22 with 2 sons that are running around the room as we cook. He tells me he's been cooking for 40 years, since he was a young boy and he now has heart troubles and is visibly missing 2 fingers, both of which make physical labour difficult. We talk about yoga and Indian culture and he inquires about Canada and why I'm not married (the most common Indian question I am asked). He is so proud of his culture. I tell him how much I love Indian food and he confirms how healthy it is and shares the ayurvedic properties of the food we are making. His oldest grandson turns 4 in a few days and he invites me to come and celebrate with them and of course to eat more Indian food. He then shows me around his humble home where I can hardly believe there is space for 8 people to live. Glimpsing his reality along with his kindnes makes me wonder - how can I, who has so much, not want to help?

After the scrumptious meal is complete I am able to feast on the product of our labours and enjoy the flavours. As I do so Sonud plays with his youngest grandson who is 10 months old and laughs in his grandpas arms. We make more food than I would eat in a week and I know the family will eat the rest after I leave, despite me paying extra for all the ingredients.

There once was a time when this would have bothered me and I am happy to say I have reached a point where I no longer feel the need to argue or barter as much over a few extra rupees. In part this is due to feeling people are not trying nearly as hard to rip me off as they do in Goa and secondly, I am realizing how far an extra dollar or two goes here and how much it is often valued in thier lives.
Have you taken a moment today to realize how much we have to be grateful for in our North American lives?
It's Amazing!
I am happy to learn from Sonud and pay for a meal for his kind family and realize he is just trying to make a living in order to survive.

Sure, it feels at most times that everyone here wants something us, again seeing tourists primarily as money spenders, but aren't most things we do sourced by some level of personal gain? Is there ever true selflessness or is it simply an ideal we are to keep in mind and aim for? Even when we are doing a supposed 'act of kindness' for another, isn't the inner glimmer of personal satisfaction the seed of motivation?

I exhanged money for Sonud's cooking class but in the end I am gifted with so much more than new recipes - a priceless interaction and experience that I am truly grateful for!